I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
