I accidentally burped into my bong.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize