I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
