I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
