in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
