We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
