I'm gonna have a badass scar
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
