Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
