Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
