im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
