Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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