I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
