I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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