im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
