I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize