well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
