"it" just moved
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Boobs are out for the taking
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
