Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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