you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Houston, we have a squirter
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
