He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
