Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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