i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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