what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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