my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
