just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
