So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You've changed since you got that strap on
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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