if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
