I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
