Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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