What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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