I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
