It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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