does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize