I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
