stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
