I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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