My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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