I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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