As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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