you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
