it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize