that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
