A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
