Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
