was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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