she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
