did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
