I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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