my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
