"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
