I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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