why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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