I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize