A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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