you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Are we still banned from the library?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
