i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
