ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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