u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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